Just Alice
by gracepat1098
Summary: Alice first enters wonderland when her mother passes on. Is there someone eagrily awaiting her return? Hatter/Alice
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the Alice in Wonderland characters. Though I may build a few extra castles, this is not my sand box.

Alice chewed on her nail nervously. She hated it when Grandmother came over for dinner. It was always _"Sit up straighter Alice!" _Or _"Stop playing with the cat Alice!" _There was just nothing that she could seem to do right! Even when playing piano, the one thing she COULD do, Grandmother always had something to correct her on. _"Stop playing so quickly girl! Good grief, are you trying to ruin Mozart for me, or is it on accident?" _And it wasn't as if anything anyone said made a difference to the old bag. "Alice! Elbows OFF the table." A sharp voice at the head of the table snapped Alice back to her surroundings. She had been day dreaming about being anywhere BUT here (here referring to sitting around a white clothed wooden table laid neatly for four).

Glancing across the table at her father, they made eye contact and he nodded firmly to her. Sighing, Alice slid her arms off of the table at pressed her back into the blue velvet lining of her chair. "Now as I was saying Deidra dear, blue flowers should not be placed to decorate a blue room; it's merely tacky! Perhaps daffodils, or some babies breathe would look lovely."

"Of course, Mother." Alice's mother said the last word as if it were difficult to refer to the creature sitting across from her as such. Her cheeks were flush with irritation at being told how to run her household. Alice's poor mother had to sit through the same miserable evening as her daughter, but she often said (when Alice's father wasn't around) that at least they had each other during those hellish hours. At that moment, Pino entered the room, carrying a silver platter of little cakes. Alice liked Pino very much. He was a slightly goofy old man, and always let Alice have desert, even if she didn't finish all of her vegetables.

He was making his way around the table when Grandmother shrieked, "Well don't give Alice any, old man. For goodness sake she hasn't even touched her brustle sprouts." Grimacing at the little round vegetables, Alice moved the sprouts around her plate with her fork. Eat them? Yeah, like THAT was gonna happen.

"You know, I would rather not eat vegetables. It isn't because I find them distasteful, but rather that they are thought of poorly by children." Alice piped up, looking around the table. Grandmother looked aghast, while her father revealed a small smile. "If now, they served desert first and vegetables last, then perhaps all of children's perspectives would change. Maybe they would want to eat vegetables, but not desert. Do you think that is possible?"

"My darling Alice, I think the question should not be aught it possible, but what is not possible?" Said her mother kindly. Alice grinned in appreciation, and her father sent her an affectionate look.

Grandmother, however, scoffed. "Of course it is impossible! Austen! How can you encourage such behavior?" She looked scandalized. "A proper young lady should not speak such a way. It's no wonder why that Henry fellow is taking such a long time proposing. He cannot decide if your head is on strait or not!"

The silence in the room was almost frightening. Alice's mother cleared her throat rather officially and removed the napkin from her collar. "Well firstly you see, _mother_, Alice will marry when the time is right, and I would not allow her to at such a young age anyway, even IF that 'Henry fellow' proposed. And secondly, we can raise our child as we see fit because Alice is and will always be OUR child. If you don't care for the way I bring her up, then I suggest you avert your eyes for the next few seconds." And with that, she took one of the cookies from her plate, leaned all of the way across the table, and dropped it onto Alice's. Warmth filled Alice's stomach at the sight of her mother performing such a noble deed.

"AUSTEN DO SOMETHING!" Jumping up, Grandmother threw her napkin onto the table and began yelling in a most unbecoming manner.

Grandmother was chastising Alice's father for marrying poorly, and Alice nibbled her cookie and watched, along with Pino, who had set down the try he was carrying to properly observe the argument. However, whilst their voices rose, no one looked at Alice's mother, who had grown terribly pail and clutched at her dress, right above her left breast.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own the Alice in Wonderland characters. Though I may build a few extra castles, this is not my sand box.

_Three years later…_

Alice stared out of the dirty window onto the muddy path that led from her house. Rain splattered the glass, creating a constant pattern of tears flowing from the grey clouds above. Leaning a rosy cheek on her left palm, Alice let out a sigh. Her warm breath fogged the window for a moment. She was on the second floor of her house, and had an excellent view of the grounds. It was perfectly dreary outside; humid but cold, the plants flourishing with life, and yet the air felt so dead. The chipping white door to her room was pushed open, and Dina, Alice's cat, slunk in. Nothing in her life had turned out the way she had expected it to since her mother died. It was as if all of the laughter, all of the fun in her life had been sucked out. Now it was mainly pacing empty dusty rooms in the large house alone, waiting for her father to return home from work. Her grandmother said that it wasn't 'healthy' to still be in mourning. She set up dinner party after dinner party, trying to coax Alice out of the house, but Alice always refused. Nothing seemed to be of terrible importance anymore to Alice. All that she could think about was how absurd life was. "First a mother baths their child, then the other way around." She often said out loud. _How peculiar. _

Grandmother had finally convinced Alice's father to set up a marriage between his daughter and Sir Charles of Barrington, in hopes that it might change his daughter's spirits. It did not. She would not meet Charles for walks, or to go to the ballet. Alice kept to her rooms, silently pacing over and over again. She tried hard not to live. Tried to make herself believe that if she just stayed inside, time would stop. But it didn't. It moved onward like an indestructible, unforgiving force, and there was nothing that could stop it. Just as Alice could not control where the rain drops struck the Earth, she could not control time. And how time was almost up, as her grandmother reminded her every time she came over. Soon Alice would be seventeen, at the end of the acceptable age to marry. "Oh Dina, I do wish time would stop, if only for a little." The ginger cat meowed and jumped into Alice's lap.

There was a sudden knock at the front door. Alice frowned and peered bellow her window. All that she could see was a man's top hat. He was carrying…a bouquet of flowers. "Uh no!" Alice shrieked; it was Charles. How very improper of him to come to call on her when her father was not at home! She hoped that he hadn't any indecent ideas! Jumping to her feet (and Dina hissing rather angrily as she fell to the floor, mind you) Alice ran to the bedroom door and threw it open. "PINO DON'T-!" She hollered. But it was too late. The click of the front door sounded as it was opened.

"Good afternoon, Sir. How may I help you?" Pino politely asked downstairs.

A feeling of panic and desperation over took Alice. "Gah!" She sprinted across the hall to the bathroom and locked the door when she was inside. Voices floated up to her from the vent that went from the downstairs hall into the bathroom.

"Yes, Ms. Alice is home. I shall fetch her in a minute. Would you care for some tea?" Alice smiled. Pino was stalling for her. Throwing open the bathroom window, Alice stood on top of the latrine, and crawled out onto the roof.

Rain pelted her, but she ignored it. The roof of the house was grainy against her bare feet, and Alice cursed herself for not taking shoes with her. Heart pounding in her throat, she inched over to the overhanging willow tree. Her foot slipped and Alice fell to her knees. "Careful, Alice." She reminded herself. As lightning struck the sky Alice lost he balance again and tumbled off of the roof in one clumsy movement.

and

everyth**I**ng

w**E**nt

B**LAC**K….


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own anything. This isn't my sand box, though I'm building extra castles...

She was falling, falling, falling, forever and always…until she wasn't. Alice opened her eyes wearily. She was in a wood, but it didn't seem to be the one behind her house. She tried sitting up, but her head began to throb so terribly that she lay back down. Strange chirping noises of unfamiliar bugs echoed from all around the surrounding trees (that grew so tall Alice could not even make out the tops of them!). The air was thick and the grass beneath her felt wet, as if it had only just stopped raining. Alice tried for the life of her to figure out what had happened, but there was just no explanation. If she had been on her roof only a moment ago, how could she have ended up in this forest? Suddenly there was a snapping of twigs, and Alice decided it would be best to lie very still so as to not attract unwanted attention. After all, what if it was a lion? But it was not a lion, nor any sort of beast, that stepped into the clearing. It was nothing more than a little white rabbit. Granted, it was strange that the animal was wearing a little grey waste coat, along with wire rimed spectacles, but Alice was so terribly happy that it was not a monster.

"Will you won't you, will you won't you." It muttered to itself. The rabbit seemed much to preoccupied with the gold pocket watch he was staring at to notice little Alice laying on the forest floor.

"Oh Mr. Rabbit!" She called. The rabbit looked up at Alice as if not really seeing her, and then back down at his watch.

"Darn it it's stopped again!" He shook the watch with both hands. "Just got it too." He said between violent shakes. "Why, it was an un-birthday present."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Alice said, though she hadn't the faintest idea what an un-birthday was. The little rabbit looked up again and, really seeing Alice for the first time, shirked and dropped his watch, so that it hung sadly at his side.

"Wha! Puh! Haaah!" He spluttered.

Alice ignored his stunned reaction. "My name is Alice, Sir, and I was wondering if there might be an infirmary for sick people close by? You see I hit my head when I fell and now I simply ache to badly to get up. I only hope I did not hit my head to hard now, because I've woken up in a strange forest and I'm not sure how I've come to be here. Then again, I must have hit my head very hard if I am talking to a rabbit right now, and he can answer me." The rabbit merely stared its round black eyes at her, his little mouth open in astonishment. "In which case," Alice concluded, "I must then assume then that I am ultimately wholly mad."

There was silence for a minute, and then, "MONSTER!" The rabbit yelled, running back and forth.

"Oh dear." Alice sighed worriedly. "No, I am not a monster Mr. Rabbit. Please!"

In his eagerness to get away from Alice, the white rabbit ran head long into her leg. "NO! HELP!" He cried, jumping back to his feet. "Here monster, TAKE THAT! Not me, not poor little old me." He produced a rather fat looking carrot from his pocket and threw it at Alice. It hit her on the nose before the rabbit hopped back into the woods and out of view. Alice lay on her back still, now red in the face and with a new bruise forming on the tip of her nose.

"Oh how dreadful." She said angrily. What an unhappy rabbit! "Well, I suppose there is nothing left for me to do…." And with that, she picked up the carrot and took a bite. The pain in her body was immediately alleviated. "My word!" Alice exclaimed, finally gaining the ability to stand on her feet. Once she had, she realized how dirty her clothes were. Mud splattered her blue dress and her stockings were torn to shreds. How was any of this possible? She could only think of one answer. "I MUST be dreaming." Alice said aloud, as if hearing it would cause her to wake up.

"Oh, I don't doubt it." Said a second voice. Alice whipped around to see a purple stripped cat sitting in a tree.

"You gave me quite a fright!" Alice said. The cat watched her with big yellow eyes.

"So did you to me."

Frowning, she replied, "But how did I? _You_ are the one who snuck up on _me_."

The puss reached up to his thick black eye brows and took the left one down. "But it was _you _who fell in on _me_." He said nonchalantly, smoothing out the little hairs and then replacing his brow.

"Well I didn't mean too." Alice said heatedly.

"You did too." The cat said.

Alice felt her face turn red. "Well this is MY dream, and I say I didn't!" She said curtly.

The cat laughed, its tong lolling out of its mouth. The sight was quite mad. "Just because this is in your head doesn't mean it's not real."

Not sure how to respond to that, Alice tried, "Could you point me in the direction of a town, Sir Cat?"

The cat's grinned spread from ear to ear. "Oh, I am not just any old cat. Surly you remember the Cheshire, Alice?"

Surprised, Alice gawked.

"Ah." The Cheshire cat sighed. "I was afraid you wouldn't remember. The direction you'd like to be heading in is _that _one." He pointed to a sign that appeared on the tree branch bellow. **'The Mad Hatter'**had been cut crudely into the wood.

Alice frowned. "But I don't want to go about mad people!"

The cat had vanished but his voice still rang out, "But what did you say only a few minutes ago? 'I must then assume then that I am ultimately wholly mad.'"

_Curiouser and curiouser, _thought Alice.


	4. Chapter 4

NOT MY SAND BOX! You go Lewis Carrol. Feed me some feed back. Alice/Hatter next chapter. Girl scouts honor.

Chapter four

Alice had been walking down the same dirt path that the Cheshire Cat had directed her on for quite some time now. She was muttering to herself along the way (Very well for you too Alice, trying to run away from Henry like that. It's no wonder you've lost your head. You are being punished for being naughty!) when a most peculiar sound met her ears. It was the noise of two little boys arguing, much like Alice's twin cousins, Marcus and Brian. Upon turning a bend in the path Alice happened upon two little men in red and white striped pants and yellow suit jackets wrestling each other on the floor of the path. Perplexed, Alice stopped walking and watched as one of the men walloped the other on top of his head. "Oh my!" Alice exclaimed, immediately wishing that she hadn't. The men looked up abruptly and rushed to untangle themselves form one another, causing them to only trip and fall again. "Oh goodness." Giggled Alice. The men, now disengaged, stood strait up, brows furrowed and arms crossed over their chests. They looked identical, standing erect in the middle of the path.

Not sure what to do, Alice decided that perhaps she had better just ignore them. After all, the Cheshire had said that she wanted to see the Mad Hatter, though she had no idea why. And wait one moment, why had the puss said "I was afraid you wouldn't remember"? "Well never mind that now." Alice said to herself, and made to walk past the little men. However, when she approached them, they immediately jumped next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. Frowning, Alice tried to walk around them next, but the men jumped in front of her again. Signing, Alice looked timidly into their eyes. "Is there something wrong?" She asked.

Suddenly the little men leaped into action, skipping in a circle around Alice and singing, "How do you do and shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How do you do and shake hands that's how we say hello!"

_Well, I certainly don't think that I should want to upset them._ Thought Alice wisely. The two men seemed out of their minds!

"I'm Tweedle Dee. And He's Tweedle Dum." The man on the left jabbed his thumb at his partner. Their thick orange hair stuck out from under caps that read their names.

"I suppose that way I won't confuse you." She said aloud.

"How about a story, miss?" Tweedle Dum asked eagerly.

"Well now, I really must be on my way. I'm going to the-"

"Yes, yes, yes. A story would suit you fine!" Tweedle Dee interjected. The men backed Alice up until the back of her legs hit a fallen tree log and she was forced to sit down.

"May we present to you!" Dum said ostentatiously.

"Old Father William!" Shouted Dee.

_Oh dear. Now look what a mess you are in Alice. All because of that stupid Henry!_

The men began acting out the rhyme by mimicking the actions being said.

"You are old, Father William," the young man said,  
"And your hair has become very white;  
And yet you incessantly stand on your head -  
Do you think, at your age, it is right?

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son,  
"I feared it might injure the brain;  
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,  
Why, I do it again and again."

Alice rolled her eyes at the ridiculous poem. An old man couldn't do that! After all, imagining grandmother…. Alice broke out into roarous laughter at the very idea of it. Tweedle Dee and Dum looked fairly pleased with themselves and continued to recite. After ten more minutes of listening to the twins, Alice found that she should really be on her way, and quietly excused herself from their presence, leaving the odd men standing in the forest, reciting stories to themselves.

When the little house on stilts came into view, Alice hoped that it belonged to the Mad Hatter. Though she had been dreading meeting him, she was quite tired of trucking through this strange land. Coming up to a rickety white gate, Alice realized that the house was painted in an assortment of yellows, reds, greens, blues, and violets. "Grandmother would think this so tacky." She grimaced. The house was leaning so far on one side that it looked like it might fall over any moment! A grin spread widely across her mouth as she realized that she was in love with it. Voices drifted over from the back of the house, and Alice, being polite as she was, walked around the gate to the back, not daring to intrude on a mad person's property without invitation.

In the back was a long table that seemed to be laden for tea. It also seemed that there where two people at the table, but Alice couldn't make any important details out because of the thick layer of steam rising from about one hundred tea pots that whistled in a most outrageous fashion. She laughed in spite of her worry that the mad Hatter would be a frightful person, and as soon as she had, the steam from the pots seemed to evaporate into thin air and all was silent. Shocked, Alice dashed behind a tree. "What was that, Hair?" A man's voice asked. He had a strange accent that Alice couldn't quite place.

"Nothing." Came a Scottish brogue.

"Nothing tralala?" The man shouted.

"NOTHING TRALALA!" Shrieked the Scot.

There was silence, and then the tinkering of the pots and merry chatter of the pair continued.

Alice peeked out from behind the tree to realize that the steam had returned, and she could no long see (nor be seen as the case was) by the two fellows. Taking a deep breath Alice hastened to the fence, lifting one leg over it and then the next; she squinted through the steam and ducked under the table. Her plan had been to find a seat opposite the men and introduce herself to them. That way she would be formally and properly introduced. However, navigating under the table had turned out to be somewhat more difficult a feet then anticipated and, just when she thought she had found an arm chair, Alice put one hand on the arm of the chair to pull herself up. Unfortunately, the arm turned out to be rather warm…and wearing pants.

"Ooh hoo!" Giggled the man, grabbing Alice's hand immediately after she mistakenly placed it on his thigh. The steam dissipated, leaving a horrified Alice staring into the face of an untamed looking man. "Hello Alice." He grinned. "I'm the Mad Hatter."


	5. Chapter 5

feed me some feed back

Chapter 5

Alice was stunned to find herself sitting amongst a table of singing tea pots, in some unknown world, sipping from a small chipped cup the most wonderful tea that she had ever tasted, but on top of all of that, the thing that took her breath away was the Hatter. He was an odd man, tall and lean, with a green silk top hat with the measurement still sitting in the brim. He never seamed to stop chittering with the Hare (whom had spilt tea all over the table and was currently trying to cover it up by emptying a cup of crème onto it). Alice was so intrigued by the conversation the men were having about what appeared to be bibrellas (birds with umbrella bodies) that she gave a rather violent start when a little head peaked out of a sugar bowl.

"My word!" Alice exclaimed as the door mouse, which had just jumped down from the sugar bowl, yawned and gave a little stretch. The other men stopped speaking and turned round to Alice and the door mouse.

"My word, Alice! When did you get here?" Demanded the Hatter, in a serious tone.

Not sure weather to laugh or not, Alice managed a shrug. "Alice! Do ya think that a pelican can cross with a pot of tea?" Asked the March Hair.

"Uh-" Alice began unsure. However the dormouse interrupted.

"Tea?"

"TEA!" Yelled the Hatter, throwing the cup he was holding at the Hare, who ducked, letting the cup hit a tree and shatter.

"Oh goodness!" Alice cried thoroughly startled.

The Hatter turned abruptly in his chair and grabbed Alice's hand consolingly. "Don't worry, my dear." He said seriously. Alice tried not to shrink away from him; he was frightfully odd. "For you see, it was the very worst of tea cups."

The hair snorted. "What'd it do, insult your mother?" He asked, now dumping out the sugar cubes and staking them into pyramids.

"YOU TOLD IT TO DIDN'T YOU!" Roared the Hatter, lifting another tea cup in one hand.

Alice, having jumped in alarm at the sudden raise in the Hatter's voice, found it very hard to be where she was all of a sudden. It had felt as if she and been in this strange world for hours, and yet nobody would help her, nor answer any of her questions. A lump was forming in her throat. "I'LL CURSE YOU'RE WHOLE FAMILY, I WILL!" The Hatter had gotten to his feet.

"Please, sir." Began Alice meekly. No one paid her any attention though. "Please, I need to know where I am." She tugged gently on the hatter's sleeve but he did not turn her way again. He was too busy shouting swears at the Hare, who was holding the dormouse by the tale as it recited limericks. "You see I, I was walking on my roof, when I happened here. And I don't kn-know wh-what I'm supposed to…to do." A tear fell from her cheek and splashed onto the table.

As if hit by an electric charge the Hatter turned to Alice. The expression in his eyes changed immediately to one of surprise and concern. "Alice, my love." He knelt down beside her chair and stroked her cheek with a gloved hand. "Shhh cry not, gentle dove." Alice felt ridiculous that she had broken down to tears, but she was terribly confused after all.

"But I- I don't know how to get home." She shook a little. The Hatter frowned unhappily.

"That's okay Alice. Oh little Alice. Look, see?" He nodded to the table cloth that was now soaked in her salty tears. Alice looked closer, and saw that tiny sprouts were shooting up from where each one of her tears hit. A daisy grew from one of the sprouts, and Hatter picked it, and handed it to Alice. She smiled, very content from that.

"I'm afraid I've forgotten my manners. It's been such a long time since you've been here, I hardly remember how it is proper to act around a young lady now."

Alice's eyebrows met in the middle. "I've been here before? No, I'm sure I would remember a place such as this!"

The Mad Hatter sighed. "No, that's not the way it works. Alice, I humbly welcome you to your Wonderland."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Alice lifted an eye brow and gazed around her. The land did look quite wonderful indeed. "How is it that I came to be here?" She asked, motioning to the mud stains and many tares in her dress. The Hatter sighed and suddenly became very interested with looking at his fingernails (funnily enough as he could not see them through his gloves).

"Hatter?" Alice asked, a sense of foreboding cumulating in her stomach.

"Well, funnily enough…." The Mad Hatter began, now clearing his throat. "Uhm…well…." He stuttered, clasping his hands in his lap.

"You hitted your head!" The March Hare proclaimed, slamming a tea pot down on his own.

Alice was not quite following, but she was not able to ask again, for a giant animal came galumphing into view. The beast was huge, with four paws, all covered in fur. "IT'S THE DOG!" Shrieked the March Hair, stuffing his head inside of a teapot with fright. Alice's heart beat faster and she looked at the Hatter, wondering what one should do when faced with an incredibly large dog. The thing took one look at Alice and barked in a booming tone that shook the china on the table.

"I think it's be best if everyone remained calm." Hatter said, sounding a little stressed as he spoke the last word. "If we keep our heads, we can make it out alive."

However, the Hair decided at that moment to yell, "OFF WITH IT'S HEAD!" The pup wagged its tail wildly and ran for the group. Petrified, Alice felt the Hatter lunge on top of her, shoving the both of them (somehow) over the fence of the yard and into the forest.

It was sometime later when Alice awoke, having been knocked unconscious when hitting her head on a rock. The Hatter was pacing up and down beside her, and it was now dark. Crickets and chirps buzzed all around them, while tiny bugs that glowed very much like fireflies (only their lights were blue instead of yellow) lit up from time to time. "Hatter? Is everyone alright?" Alice sat up, feeling concerned for the Hair and door mouse. Upon hearing her voice, the Hatter jumped and dropped to his knees by her side. Taking her hand in his, he brought it to his cheek, and Alice was much disturbed to find it wet from crying.

"Everyone's fine, but are you, dearest Alice? Oh I am a miserable man for having hurt you so!"

Perplexed, Alice responded, "But it was not your fault I was indisposed. You were only trying your very best to save me, after all!"

The Hatter's teased out red hair seemed to droop as he released her hand and said, "My best wasn't good enough." Alice shook her head defiantly. "Never was." He added quietly.

Feeling as if she could not continue in this world without knowing what was going on in it, Alice announced that she was finally ready to hear about herself and this Wonderland.

"It started when yer mother died." Hatter began. Alice began to ask how he knew that she had, but remembered that she had promised not to ask questions until the end. "Do you remember taking your horse out after the funeral?"

Alice thought hard. Yes, indeed she had! She had been so upset that she took Bruno out for a canter. But then what had happened? She hardly knew, for she woke up in the hospital a day later. The doctor had told Alice that she had fallen and hit her head. A startling idea occurred to her. "Hatter?" She asked timidly. "When I fall unconscious, my mind takes me to Wonderland, doesn't it?"

Hatter grimaced and nodded. "Your head turns inside out on itself. But I swear it Alice, it does not mean that Wonderland isn't real."

Alice felt her heart drop into her stomach. So she had to be in some sort of coma right now? _This is ghastly news. I simply must find a way to wake up. Perhaps a trigger will do it._ Hatter looked concerned. "I give you my word that this land is real Alice. I am real." He reached out and touched her face now, cupping her in his hands. "This is real." Alice felt a tingling in her stomach at him touching her, _gazing _at her. She felt her cheeks turn red when she began to think of how handsome he looked like that.

"I need proof that this is real." Alice said, incredibly surprising herself by her own boldness. Hatter's eyes widened, and then he grinned.

Leaning closer to his face, Hatter ran a hand threw her shinning blond hair. Alice felt her insides flutter, as the Mad Hatter closed the distance between their mouths and pressed his eager lips against her soft.


End file.
